Relationships aren't always about hearts and flowers. Sometimes things get tough. Can you and your partner talk about what really matters?
It would probably be fair to say that every couple has a secret or two that they don't want to divulge to their partner. In some cases, this isn't such a bad thing. However, in a relationship there are some issues you shouldn't shy away from. Topics which are awkward or hard to handle are usually the most important ones and they should be dealt with as a partnership or it could lead to trouble. The ability to talk openly about these important aspects of your life together is the only way you can truly hope to be happy.
Your future goals
Before you get too serious about your relationship, you must determine whether you both have similar plans for the future. Taking a big step like moving in together would be a huge mistake if you don't want the same things. Imagine how heartbreaking it would be to find out that your boyfriend doesn't want children while you are planning to turn the second bedroom into a nursery. I have seen relationships blown to pieces because the couple didn't talk openly about what they wanted out of life before they bought a house together. A lot of pain could have been avoided if they had just stopped to discuss their future beforehand.
Money
In these times of financial crisis it is more important than ever to openly discuss money with your partner. The money you and your partner earn is money for both of you to live on, so there shouldn't be any secrets about the size of your wage packets. I used to date someone who refused to tell me how much he earned even after we had been together for three years! This kind of secret can be toxic in a relationship. Not only is it harder to stay within a budget if you don't know how much money you both earn, it also raises questions about what other secrets might be hidden from you.
Sex
We all know that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship. But it is definitely important. If something isn't working for one of you, it needs to be discussed. It is always more embarrassing to talk about sex than to do it, but you need to get over that because issues in the bedroom will quickly spill into other aspects of your lives. It's not just problems that should be discussed either. You should also be able to openly discuss new ideas and fantasies to stop your sex life becoming stagnant. Talking about sex should never be uncomfortable. It's supposed to be fun!
Work
The stresses of work nearly always follow you home. Even if you don't want it to happen, a bad day at the office can result in bad moods and lashing out. You should both be willing to talk and listen to each other's work issues because keeping the problems bottled up only makes them worse. Holding on to stress is as damaging for a couple as it is for an individual, so don't let it eat away at you.
Bad habits
I'm sure you've heard people say that it's the little things that count in a relationship. Well, a large number of little bad habits can drive a person crazy. You should be able to openly tell your boyfriend if his bad habits are annoying you. Likewise, you must be prepared to hear the things he would like you to change too Don't let small things like him folding his underpants before sex (yep, it happened to me!) or leaving toe nail clippings all over the bathroom floor ruin what you have. If you can't tell each other what you find unacceptable, you will annoy each other right out of the relationship.
If you can't openly discuss all of these things with your partner, you may have problems in the future. All of these issues are things which won't just go away if you ignore them. They fester and eat away at a relationship until it is too late to fix them. Don't let it happen to you.
Your future goals
Before you get too serious about your relationship, you must determine whether you both have similar plans for the future. Taking a big step like moving in together would be a huge mistake if you don't want the same things. Imagine how heartbreaking it would be to find out that your boyfriend doesn't want children while you are planning to turn the second bedroom into a nursery. I have seen relationships blown to pieces because the couple didn't talk openly about what they wanted out of life before they bought a house together. A lot of pain could have been avoided if they had just stopped to discuss their future beforehand.
Money
In these times of financial crisis it is more important than ever to openly discuss money with your partner. The money you and your partner earn is money for both of you to live on, so there shouldn't be any secrets about the size of your wage packets. I used to date someone who refused to tell me how much he earned even after we had been together for three years! This kind of secret can be toxic in a relationship. Not only is it harder to stay within a budget if you don't know how much money you both earn, it also raises questions about what other secrets might be hidden from you.
Sex
We all know that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship. But it is definitely important. If something isn't working for one of you, it needs to be discussed. It is always more embarrassing to talk about sex than to do it, but you need to get over that because issues in the bedroom will quickly spill into other aspects of your lives. It's not just problems that should be discussed either. You should also be able to openly discuss new ideas and fantasies to stop your sex life becoming stagnant. Talking about sex should never be uncomfortable. It's supposed to be fun!
Work
The stresses of work nearly always follow you home. Even if you don't want it to happen, a bad day at the office can result in bad moods and lashing out. You should both be willing to talk and listen to each other's work issues because keeping the problems bottled up only makes them worse. Holding on to stress is as damaging for a couple as it is for an individual, so don't let it eat away at you.
Bad habits
I'm sure you've heard people say that it's the little things that count in a relationship. Well, a large number of little bad habits can drive a person crazy. You should be able to openly tell your boyfriend if his bad habits are annoying you. Likewise, you must be prepared to hear the things he would like you to change too Don't let small things like him folding his underpants before sex (yep, it happened to me!) or leaving toe nail clippings all over the bathroom floor ruin what you have. If you can't tell each other what you find unacceptable, you will annoy each other right out of the relationship.
If you can't openly discuss all of these things with your partner, you may have problems in the future. All of these issues are things which won't just go away if you ignore them. They fester and eat away at a relationship until it is too late to fix them. Don't let it happen to you.
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